If this is your first time at a BDSM event, Weekend Reunion is the perfect place to start. Prepare to be completely overwhelmed by the experience of existing without shame or bias. You're going to love our relaxed and friendly atmosphere, and you will discover that nothing quite compares to being in a playspace filled with people who look just like you!
As with any BDSM event, there are a few rules and basic etiquette you'll need to follow at Weekend Reunion events:
BDSM is different than swinging
If you're a swinger you are probably familiar with how important it is to get a person's permission before engaging them in any sex acts. BDSM is the same in that you must always ask permission to play with a person ("playing" means having a BDSM scene) but BDSM is different because not everybody wants to incorporate sex into their scene. Even if a person consents to playing with you, it doesn't mean they consent to you touching their genitals or yours. This is why it is so important to talk extensively with a person prior to playing with them.
Negotiate every scene
When negotiating a scene, be very clear and concise about what you want to happen. You might say things like, "You can use whatever you have in your toy-bag except canes," or "You can torture my breasts but do not touch my pussy," etc. Make sure you find out if your play-partner has any health or mobility issues, and also make sure they have not been drinking alcohol or have taken any medications that might impair their ability to play safely or give consent to play. Even if you've extensively negotiated a scene, if at any point during play one of the parties wants to stop you must honor their request immediately.
Use a safeword
Before you begin playing you should establish a safeword to use in case you want to stop your scene or decrease the intensity. The most common safeword is "red". If you yell out "red" in any playspace or dungeon everybody will know you want to stop. The playspace monitors (PMs) will be close-by to ensure this happens. If things get too intense and you want to slow the scene down "yellow" is another common safeword to use. "Yellow" means you want your partner to check in with you, slow down and/or decrease the pressure or force of what they are doing. Make sure you say your safeword loud enough for your partner to hear it. If you will be gagged, establish hand signals such as holding up one finger to stop the scene, or two fingers to slow down.
Don't interrupt scenes
It is extremely rude to make a lot of noise by talking with people actively engaged in a BDSM scene or with others watching. If you see something happening you believe is unsafe (or non-consensual) contact one of the playspace monitors or security staff immediately. Please be aware of how close you are standing or sitting next to someone's scene. Give them plenty of room for swinging floggers, whips or other toys. Don't approach or speak to people who have just finished playing because their scene may not be finished yet. For example, many people consider aftercare a part of the scene.
Basic etiquette always applies. Clean up after yourself. Wipe down any BDSM furniture used after your scene. Don't sit your naked ass on a chair without putting a disposable underpad (Chux) down first. If you have your own toys, clean them after each use. Make sure your play-partner is OK after your scene. Do they need a bottle of water or some aftercare? Pay attention to how people prefer to be addressed and respect their privacy. Even if you know an attendee's real name don't use it at an event without permission. Never assume someone is Dominant or submissive based on your perception of their gender or clothing. Being naked or dressed seductively in the BDSM lifestyle is not an invitation for sexual contact or sexually explicit conversation with you regardless of what you see the person saying or doing with others. Don't wander off with strangers, and most of all remember that NO always means NO.
Every event has their own specific rules you'll have to agree to. These rules might involve where you can use your phone or camera, where you can drink or eat, what type of clothing is preferred, where sex or nudity is allowed, how old you have to be to attend, what types of play are allowed, etc. You'll have to agree to these terms before you can attend the event and you'll usually have to sign a waiver releasing the event organizers from liability.
Please view our playspace rules here: http://weekendreunion.com/playspace.htm
Some of the terms we often use in the BDSM lifestyle may seem a bit confusing. Here's a link to an online BDSM glossary where you can familiarize yourself with the most common definitions: http://www.darkconnections.com/dictionary/index.htm